


ME3 Shakarian Alpha

by rprambles



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rprambles/pseuds/rprambles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to forgivetheinsubordination, bitsypookums, and whatsernameanywas for their help <3</p></blockquote>





	1. A is for Aperture

_n. an opening, hole, or gap_

The accommodations were better than she’d expected, better than a war criminal should have. Someone had pulled strings, argued in her behalf. Anderson and Hackett, most likely. The “warden” must have been handpicked by Anderson. Lieutenant Vega never failed to salute when he entered and always spoke with the respect due to a superior, despite the fact that she’d been stripped of rank. She wasn’t sure if she appreciated that or resented it.

Overall, the incarceration wasn’t bad. Good food, soft furniture, an hour outside every day under escort. The weekly “session” with a therapist or doctor always irritated her, if only because they were so bad at twisting her words around. They were easy to talk down. Overall, not bad.

Sure as hell wasn’t good, though.

She hadn’t slept the first few nights, a mix of frustration and regret keeping her awake. It wasn’t until she’d pushed the couch in front of the broad window, the one that gave a decent view of the stars through all the light pollution, that she managed a few hours of sleep. When she was awake, which was most of the time, she was restless. She’d been moving quickly for months, and now there was an imminent invasion and all she could do was wait. Her sniper discipline helped her keep most of the irritation in check, but there were days when she was short with Vega, though he never seemed to hold it against her.

More than the frustration, she felt empty, as if she’d been hollowed out in coming here, just a mannequin going through the motions of life. It took her a while to place a name to the feeling: loneliness. She missed hearing the familiar tread and the whisper-silent steps of her team behind her, missed the banter and the companionable quiet.

Weeks became months and she tried to keep from thinking about it, about what could be changing in the universe outside the four walls she lived within. She didn’t let herself wonder about her team and their lives.

As she refused to wallow in the loneliness, it snuck up on her instead. Reading from the prayer book they’d let her keep after it cleared inspection, she’d find an odd passage and would be three steps toward the door before she remembered Krios wasn’t in Life Support anymore. She spilled her breakfast once and the first thought in her mind was the mess Grunt would always leave in the kitchen after a midnight raid. On one of her daily walks she’d see the security posted around the building, note the flaws and turn to her left to share a smirk, but there was only air instead of a turian sharp-shooter with blue paint and scars and a laugh in his gaze as he noticed the same painfully obvious mistakes.

She didn’t sleep that night, lost in memory as she stared up at the stars. Amidst the words and events, it was the little things stood out most in her mind. The mix of irritation and pride in his gaze whenever she’d outsnipe him. The rumble and timbre of his voice when he teased, or when he grew serious. The feel of his talons on her skin, hesitant and nervous at first, then calm and certain.

She sat up and buried her face in her hands for a minute, or perhaps it was longer. Eventually she looked up at the night sky again; the sight sent a throb through the empty lonely ache that had settled in her chest. “I miss you,” she whispered, a barely-audible confession to someone who couldn’t hear.

Somehow saying it aloud made it hurt worse.


	2. B is for Besotted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to forgivetheinsubordination, bitsypookums, and whatsernameanywas for their help <3

_adj. strongly infatuated_

Garrus tried to not think about it. His work helped in that respect. There was so much to do to prepare for the Reapers, people to convince, supplies to gather, and all the while he wasn’t sure it was going to be enough. It kept him busy for the most part.

But if he was being honest, he never really stopped thinking about Hira. Anytime he wasn’t focused on work, his thoughts would eventually drift back to her.

He thought of her differently now than when they’d first met, he realized. He remembered the day with surprising clarity, seeing Commander Shepard striding through the Citadel Tower. He’d only known what he’d heard, rumors of ruthlessness and efficiency, and she fit the image well. A soldier made of solid stone. But somewhere along the way, that image changed. Ruthlessness became practicality, efficiency to quiet dedication. And the stone was not nearly as impassable as it looked.

Somewhere along the way, she was not only his commander, but his friend. And then she became more. Exactly what that more was he couldn’t quite place, but there was a reason Hira lingered in his thoughts. He missed her company, the sharp-tongued banter, how her hand awkwardly fit his and how someone so hard could be soft to the touch.

After a while he simply accepted that he was never going to get her out of his head until he saw her again, and possibly not even then.Garrus didn’t think he’d mind the second part very much.


	3. C is for Command

_n. an authoritative order_

Shepard strode onto the bridge, an underlying vibe of haste in her usually-cool air. “All essential crew on board?”

Joker turned to frown at her as EDI said, “Affirmative.”

“Set a course for Palaven.”

“And the nonessential crew members still on the Citadel?” Joker asked. “They might be worried if they come back to an empty hanger. I would be.”

Those who were listening closely would have heard Shepard give an irritable huff. “EDI, send a message to any crew not currently aboard the Normandy. They just got a couple days of shore leave.”

Joker made a sound akin to a whimper as Shepard walked toward the CIC. “Why do I have to be essential?”

“Commander, what about supplies?” Traynor asked with concern. “We don’t have enough for a long trip.”

“Short trip. Can get them when we come back.” The commander paused and turned toward the helm. “Why are we not moving?” Her tone was conversational, save for an unmistakeable bite and the crew snapped to work.

Not her finest moment as CO, granted, but she intended to pick up two very much alive turians from Palaven. One would hopefully help the war effort and the other…

Well, she’d just like to see him alive. Everything else could wait.


	4. D is for Dissimulate

_

v. conceal or disguise one’s thoughts, feelings, or character

_

It’s fascinating how many things a person can feel at once.

Irrational anger. Where have you been? You could have been hurt. I know you’re hard to kill, but this is a galactic apocalypse, a little more dangerous than the regular bullets.

Empathy. You look like hell. Understandable, considering where we are and what’s going on. When was the last time you slept? Or ate?

Joy. You’re alive. You’re here. You’re real. I missed you.

So many feelings to compress and hide behind a soldier’s mask. A combat zone filled with strangers is not the place for a romantic reunion. Only glimpses of emotion slip through the facade. A tight grip of the hand, low and soft rumble, the briefest smile. Promises of later.

Later we will set aside our masks and talk.


	5. E is for Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to bitsypookums for the help! <3

_adj. laid open to view; unconcealed_

Garrus paused his calculations to let out a yawn, mandibles spreading wide before snapping back as he shook his head.

“Saw that.”

He hummed softly, not surprised by the voice coming from seemingly nowhere. “You should be asleep.” He should be as well, which was why he’d changed into his fatigues, but he’d wanted to double-check the algorithms first.

“Can’t.” The space of air beside the console flickered, revealing Hira perched atop the counter. She smirked at him, her gaze warm and affectionate. “Distinct lack of someone in my cabin.”

“Oh?” Garrus stepped away from the console to stand in front of her, hands resting lightly on her knees.

“Figured I’d come look for him, see if he’s not sleeping either.”

“Kind of hard when there’s not a cot in here.” Garrus had been a bit surprised to discover that at first. After talking with her earlier, however, it made sense. “I’m sure there used to be one.”

She smirked, understanding what he was implying. “There _used_ to be.”

“That’s what I thought.” His good humor mellowed slightly as his thoughts drifted, eventually admitting, “Even if there was a cot, I probably wouldn’t sleep anyway.”

Her brow furrowed in concern and she covered one of his hands with her own. “Having trouble with that?”

He hummed affirmatively, idly turning her hand over to tangle their fingers together. “Just have a lot on my mind. Calibrations are a good distraction.”

At this mention, the console beeped insistently, demanding attention. Garrus let his hands drop to his sides as he turned to get back to work. “Speaking of which.”

He wasn’t able to take a step before she’d locked her ankles behind his waist, effectively trapping him. Garrus gave her an unamused look, receiving a smirk in response. “I’m kind of in the middle of something,” he said, motioning to the console.

“It can wait. Besides, your math’s off.”

He scoffed, mildly insulted. “It is not, and you know it.”

“Oh, just kiss me.”

“I don’t know that I should.”

“Can make it an order.”

“I’m bad with orders, you know that.”

“Do it anyway.” She pulled him in closer and captured his mouth with hers, cutting off his momentary grumble.

It didn’t take long for him to get lost in the contact, though the fastenings of her shirt took a little time. She shrugged it off her shoulders and tossed it aside as his hands roamed over her waist; her fingers danced over his neck to the start of his clothes, making deft work of the fastenings. He kissed and nibbled at her collarbone, working his way up her throat, delighting in her soft sigh.

The door chimed.

Hira grumbled, a sound of frustration that Garrus couldn’t help chuckling at. “The hell is knocking at this hour?”

“I don’t know.” He nipped at her throat again, mandibles spread in a turian smile. “I’ll go check.” He planted a chaste kiss on her frown - _pout_ , he thought, _adorable pout_ , though he knew better than to tell her that. “Don’t go anywhere.”

She unlocked her ankles and vanished in a flicker of metallic light. He shakes his head, still smiling, and strode over to tap the door interface.

On the other side of the entryway stood Primarch Victus, looking a little weary. “Vakarian.”

Garrus straightened instinctively. “Ah, sir. Need me for something?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something, the ship’s VI told me you were still awake. Is this a bad time?”

Garrus could easily imagine Hira’s probable answer to that as he stepped aside to let the primarch in. “I was just about to head to bed, but if it’s important.”

“It’s more a concern than anything else, I…” His voice suddenly drifted off, his gaze locked on the console. “Vakarian.” Victus lifted an Alliance-issue shirt from the console, brow ridge raised questioningly.

“I can explain that,” Garrus finally answered.

Victus’s mandibles twitched in amusement. “So can I.” He turned his attention to the room as a whole. “Commander.”

Hira decloaked, perfectly nonchalant about being discovered out of uniform by the leader of the Hierarchy. “Primarch.”

“I see the Alliance has loosened their personnel restrictions.”

“Not yet, but there are no regs on cross-species liaisons.” Hira smirked. “As I understand, it’s encouraged.”

Victus gave a rumble of laughter as he looked to Garrus. “Just about to head to bed, you said?”

Garrus nodded wordlessly. Hira’s smirk shifted to a surprised frown as she peered at him. “Are you blushing?”

With another chuckle, Victus turned to the door, patting Garrus’s shoulder. “It can wait till morning.”

“Yes sir.”

“Have a good night.”

“No doubt,” Hira answered, and both of them gawked at her for a moment.

Once the door had shut behind the chortling primarch, Garrus gave Hira a mock-stern look. “What am I going to do with you?”

Hira took his hand and tugged him closer. “Can think of a few things.”


	6. F is for Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it's taken me this long to make progress on this story. Life and other characters worked together to steal my attention. I can tentatively promise that the next update won't take nearly as long. Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading! <3

_n. the shooting of projectiles from weapons, especially bullets from guns._

Vega flashed a grin as the commander racked another clip into her rifle. “Good to be back in action, Commander?”

Hira lined up a shot, rifle bucking into her shoulder as the target dropped. “Hell yes.”

Her next target dropped before she touched the trigger. Smugness dripped from the turian’s voice. “Too slow, Shepard.”

She couldn’t help smirking as she growled a warning. “Sure you want to start that, Vakarian?”

"You’ve been out of the game for six months. I think that gives me an edge."

"Let your ego swell at least." She took a target, pleased by the grunt of disapproval from him. "Have to do something about that."

A grenade bounced into the killzone, taking down two targets. “How about you two just get a room and I’ll take care of this,” Vega suggested.

Hira chuckled and sniped another target. “New challenger, Garrus.”

"Using grenades is cheating."

Vega snorted as Hira flicked her cloak on. “And that isn’t?”

"That’s cheating too, Shepard, and you know it."

She ignored them, moving to the last target’s hiding place. Her omnitool slid through the armor easily and she stood upright as her cloak flickered off. “Twenty-three. I win.”

Garrus shook his head, mandibles spread in a turian smile. “Definitely like old times.”


	7. G is for Give

_v. to freely devote, set aside, or sacrifice for a purpose._

Garrus watched silently as Hira puffed on a cigarette, her gaze seeing past the floor of the shuttle into the stars. He didn’t have to ask what she thought about. Lieutenant Victus would likely linger in all their minds for a while yet.

He’d done well at the end. Not a second of hesitation in getting the job done. It amazed Garrus a little how much the lieutenant had grown in a few short days. But then Shepard had that affect on people. Challenging them to be better and accepting nothing but the best they had to give. She’d pushed Victus and he’d risen to her challenge. Not something most people could claim.

He knew she was analyzing the mission now, pushing herself to improve as she pushed everyone else. Sorting through flaws and successful strategies, how to be better for the next fight, weighing how she’d improved from the last one. Weighing Victus and how he had improved.

She’d follow the example Victus set, as would he. Sacrifice every bit of herself to win this war. The thought filled him with both pride and terror.

Garrus crossed the shuttle and laid a hand on her shoulder. Hira looked up at him, breathing out a lungful of smoke. He didn’t say anything, simply holding her gaze. She gave a brief smile after a moment.

If the galaxy asked for everything she had to give, he would be right there with her to the very end.


	8. H is for Haggard

_adj. looking exhausted and unwell, especially from fatigue, worry, or suffering_

Hira splashed a handful of water on her face in an attempt to shake off the nausea the nightmare had left behind. She stood there for a while, staring at the sink, water dripping off her nose and chin to plink against the metal. Eventually she raised her gaze to the mirror. An weary woman stared back at her, green eyes framed in dark circles.

She shook her head. Only a few months into the war and already she felt like an ad for death. And it would only get worse; a cheerful prospect.

The cabin door chimed. “It’s open.”

She didn’t move, listening to the familiar tread of steps. After a moment Garrus peered in, mandibles flicking. “Hira?”

She straightened, military discipline returning as she shoved her exhaustion aside. “Problem?”

“Nothing that can’t wait a few minutes.” He stepped closer. “Bad dream?”

Hira sighed, looking back down at the sink, and tried not to think about her recent run of night terrors. As if she didn’t have enough going against her, she could only get a couple hours sleep a night. “Among other things.”

His mandibles tightened in a frown. “I should have come up here with you.”

She shook her head. “Had work to do. Not the first time I’ve had a rough night, I’ll live.”

Garrus cupped her face with both hands and pressed his forehead to hers. Hira closed her eyes at his touch, her own hands rising to cover his. His thumbs smoothed over her cheeks, talons scratching a little. “I’ll be here next time,” he promised.

She let out a heavy breath as she leaned into him, letting him take her weight. “…Good.”


	9. I is for Impart

_v. to make known_

"Lieutenant Commander." EDI stood as Ashley entered the cockpit. "I can leave if it would make you more comfortable."

Ashley smiled. The first time she’d seen the AI’s platform she’d nearly shot it, even with Shepard warning her about it beforehand. That EDI understood and was willing to accommodate her if needed was both comforting and surprising. “No, it’s alright, EDI. Thanks.”

EDI nodded and returned to her station. Joker leaned around his chair to wave. “Hey, Ash.”

"Joker." She leaned against his chair and watched the console lights for a moment, considering how to phrase her question. With Joker, blunt always worked, part of the reason she liked him. “So, Shepard and Garrus.”

He flashed her a grin. “Who knew, right?”

“When?”

“Shepard and Garrus began a physical relationship during the fight against the Collectors,” EDI answered, adding in a thoughtful tone, “They seem happy together.”

“Kind of annoying, really,” Joker admitted.

“What’s annoying?”

Ashley jumped a little at Shepard’s sudden arrival; she’d forgotten how quiet the commander could be. She didn’t look up at them, gaze sweeping the datapad in her hand.

Joker waved a hand. “Don’t mind us, Commander, we’re just gossiping about your personal life.”

Shepard looked up from her datapad for a second, ever-present frown deepening. “Fortunate you’re you, Joker.”

“Lieutenant Commander Williams was surprised to learn of your relationship with Garrus Vakarian,” EDI explained helpfully.

The commander looked to Ashley next. “Problems?”

“No, ma’am.” Ashley smirked. “You make a pretty cute couple, actually.”

“No comment.” She gave the datapad to EDI, who handed her another.

Ashley followed Shepard back to the bridge. “So how is he?” When she glanced up Ashley gave her a conspiratorial wink.

“Get your own turian and find out,” Shepard ordered, voice too warm for Ashley to believe she wanted her to drop it.

"C’mon, skipper, it’s been years since we had a half-drunk late night chat. I’ve missed it." Shepard shook her head, but Ashley caught the quirk of a smile before she could hide it. "Meet you in the lounge at twenty-one-hundred? First round’s on me."

Shepard’s hand stilled on the datapad for a long moment, then she looked up, meeting Ashley’s grin with a brief smirk. “Alright.”


	10. J is for Jagged

  
_adj. having a rough or harsh quality; ragged_

He found her standing in front of the elevator. She held herself stiffly, arms folded tight against her chest glaring at the memorial wall as if it had punched her. She didn’t acknowledge him as he stepped to her side and he made no effort at conversation, waiting for her lead as always.

"Whoever put that there should be shot," she grumbled after a moment.

Garrus hummed. “Guess they thought putting it on the back of the elevator would ruin everyone’s appetite.” His attempt at a joke fell flat, as it often did, but Hira didn’t seem to even notice. He followed her gaze to the placard that held her ire, unsurprised by the name he found.

"I was always expecting him to appear in the mess," he admitted, mandibles flicking in a smile. "Just melt out of the shadows and make a smart comment on something. Remember the ensign he startled that spilled those jelly things everywhere? The beans?"

She huffed softly, her voice quiet and tight. “Yeah.”

"Helped the poor kid clean it all up. I could never tell exactly what he would do. I suspect that’s how he wanted it." Garrus tilted his head in thought. "What do you think he’d have made of Javik?"

"Called him ‘intriguing’ and sassed him back into the cryopod."

He gave a small chuckle. “He really could be a smartass. Which explains why you two got along so well.”

Hira swallowed, gripping herself tighter. “Yeah.”

Garrus’ heart panged at the sight of her trying to hold herself together. So desperate to keep her professional demeanor even when only he could see her. Glad for his brief foresight in changing to his fatigues, he wrapped an arm around her waist; loosely, in case she didn’t want the contact. She took a deep breath but didn’t pull away.

After a few moments passed he asked in a quiet voice, “Did Kolyat say anything about a funeral?”

She shook her head slightly. “With the war, don’t know if a typical one’s possible.”

"If it is, do you want to go?"

Another small shake. “Been to funerals. Don’t give closure. Just makes things final.” She took another deep breath and closed her eyes, shoulders trembling slightly.

His mandibles drooped as worry and pain coiled in his gut. He shifted closer, tightening his hold on her by a fraction. “Hira.”

Her brow knotted and she bit her lip, eyes shut tightly now. The second a tear escaped her control she hid her face in her hand, disgust plain in her voice. “Damn it…sorry.”

Garrus guided her into his arms and pressing his mouth to her forehead in the semblance of a kiss. “It’s okay,” he whispered, cradling her head.

The tension in her limbs held a second longer, years of conditioning and control balking at the thought of breaking down. A last ditch effort to hold together. And then she went slack against him, hiding her face in his chest as best she could as sobs shook her frame. He rubbed her back and nuzzled her scalp, crooning softly. “It’s okay, Hira. It’s okay.”


	11. K is for Kid

_v. to speak or act deceptively in jest_

Looking over the report on his desk, Bailey couldn’t decide if he wanted to bang his head against it or fall over laughing. He turned his gaze to the couple in front of him. A scarred up turian and the galaxy’s hero, both patiently waiting for him. Neither seeming bothered that they were under arrest.

“So,” Bailey said. “You two went up to the top of the Presidium to shoot bottles.”

“We used practice slugs,” Vakarian clarified.

“And the bottles?”

“Practice bottles,” Shepard answered and received a sharp elbow to the side from the turian beside her.

“Wine bottles, sir,” Vakarian explained. “Nothing dangerous. Just practicing.”

Bailey arched a brow. “At the top of the Presidium?”

He gave a sheepish shrug. “Never been up there before.”

Bailey ran a hand over his face, letting out a small sigh. “Considering who you are and what you do, I will let it slide this. Once,” he added firmly.

Shepard nodded. “Thanks, Commander.”

“Don’t thank me, just…the next time you two go out on a date, try a restaurant.”

“Don’t know of any restaurants that let you practice your aim,” she mused, smirking at Bailey’s alarm. “Kidding.”

Vakarian shook his head as he stood up. “Shepard, you’re going to give the poor man a stroke.”


	12. L is for Lull

_v. to calm or send to sleep, typically with soothing sounds or movements._

For once no nightmare had interrupted her rest, just her own internal clock. She moved slowly and quietly to keep from waking her companion, breathing deeply as she rubbed sleep from her eyes. Once her gaze focused in the dark she noticed an extra light source beside her. Garrus sat up in bed, absorbed by the datapad he held.

Hira swallowed a yawn. “Work doesn’t help with sleep, you know.”

He jumped a little, head snapping around. “Don’t do that,” he admonished with a chuckle, concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Just awake. You?”

Garrus shrugged. “Can’t sleep. Figured I might as well be productive.”

She frowned. His insomnia was on par with her own. With the ongoing war, they both needed all the sleep they could get and Garrus had become absolutely dedicated to making sure she got a few hours of peaceful sleep. If he’d been foregoing his own rest for hers, she would kick his ass. But for now she’d settle for him going to sleep.

Sitting up a little, she plucked the datapad from his hand and set it on the nightstand. Garrus stared at her for a second. “Uh, I wasn’t finished.”

"Can wait." She pulled him until he laid down beside her and curled up against him. To his credit he made no protest, wrapping an arm around her middle. Hira let her fingers trace the edges of his chest as she started singing softly.

She hadn’t sung in a while, making her voice rough at best, but she remembered the melody and pitch well. Garrus lay still, save his mandibles flicking in surprise. Once she’d finished a verse he spoke up, “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“Usually only when I’m drunk.”

His chest puffed up a bit under her hand. “I feel special.”

Smiling, she picked up the song again. Slowly she felt his breaths deepen and even out, his arm tugging her a little closer as he nuzzled her scalp gently. By the time she finished her song his eyes had closed, mandibles slack against his jaw. Hira pressed a gentle kiss to his nose. “Sweet dreams, Garrus.”


	13. M is for Miscommunication

_n. failure to communicate adequately_

“Shepard, I need a word with you.”

Hira frowned a little at the chill in Garrus’ voice, but didn’t question as she followed him into the battery. He tapped the door console, locking it to the outside. A moment of quiet passed before he spoke, “I don’t mean to question you, Hira, but why didn’t you take a team with you to Omega?”

She shrugged. “Aria’s request.”

“And you didn’t see a flaw with that?”

Hira’s eyes narrowed. “Asari matriarch and crime lord and her army, an accomplished turian solder and her army, and a former black ops sniper. Think we had it under control.”

“Another rifle never hurts,” Garrus reminded, flicking mandibles belying the humor in his tone.

She squinted at him. “…wait, you’re upset because I didn’t take you on an op?” Disbelief rang clear in his voice. Garrus was more mature than that.

He shook his head quickly. “No, that’s not it.” He paused, mandibles flickering nervously. “You have a habit of trying to do everything yourself, and not only is it putting a lot of weight on you that you don’t need, it’s not the best strategy.”

“Was alone for five years.” She crossed her arms and shrugged. “Can take care of myself.”

Garrus gave a frustrated growl. “You don’t have to, that’s the point! You’re not alone any more, Hira, you don’t have to take on everything by yourself.”

“Wish someone would inform the galaxy of that. Maybe it would stop piling shit on me,” she remarked bitterly.

"I don’t think it’s just the galaxy," he countered.

She frowned darkly. The implication behind his words rubbed her wrong. “The hell’s that mean?”

"It means I think you take on a lot more than you need to. Maybe it’s just habit from when people wouldn’t believe you about the Reapers, maybe you don’t like relying on others. But you’re not the only one leading this fight anymore-"

"Who else is, then?" Hira asked, voice sharp. "The Council?" She scoffed. "Still worried about protecting their damn careers. All the people who send me out on ops when there’s a problem? Even Hackett is following my lead. At some point this became _my_ job. Not going to pass the buck on to the next person, would just get us all killed.”

"And what if it gets you killed?" Garrus demanded, mandibles flared. She could see worry and fear mixed with the frustration in his eyes. "You keep taking on everything, you can’t maintain that!"

Hira couldn’t help a slight smirk at those words, feeling a rebellious thrill run through her spine. “Challenge accepted.”

Hitting the door console, she turned and strode out. She knew Garrus only spoke out of concern, but she could handle herself. And she had a job to do. As much as she cared about him, she couldn’t let those feelings affect her ability to work. She’d leave him alone for a few days. Give them both time to cool off.


	14. N is for Negotiation

_n. discussion aimed at reaching an agreement._

Garrus hesitated at the door to the lounge; immediately his mandibles tightened in a frown. No, he was not going to slink back to the main gun like a cadet. They’d had their argument, it was time to talk about this like mature adults. And he owed her an apology.

She'd curled up on the couch, her back to him as she fiddles with her omnitool. She didn’t look up, but he had no doubt she knew who it was. “Mind if I join you?”

She tilted her head to the open space beside her. The orange light shut off as she finally looked up; he wasn't surprised to see a bit of her walls up. Not her commanding mask, but clearly apprehensive. Given their last conversation he deserved it, but it still stung.

He set his hand beside hers; a quiet hopeful offer. “I’m sorry I went off on you like that.”

Hira's gaze fell to his open palm. One, two heartbeats, and she slipped her hand into his. “Sorry I gave you reason to.”

Her fingers laced between his talons and Garrus suddenly found it easier to breathe. Still, he had more to explain. “I know you can handle yourself. I just…” His throat tightened, mandibles flicking against his jaw. “I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you.”

“Can still happen,” she pointed out bluntly. “Whether you're with me or not. To both of us.”

“You’re right. But I’d rather be there and know I did everything possible to keep you safe. The alternative…well, I owe Tali a drink and an apology.”

She smirked briefly, her hand tightening against his palm. “…You’re right, too. Can’t do this by myself.”

“You could,” Garrus argued gently. “Not as stylishly,” and that earned a soft huffing laugh, “but after watching you take the galaxy head-on, I don’t think there’s anything you can’t do.”

A smile lingered on her face as she met his gaze again, green eyes warm. “Don’t want to.”

Garrus couldn't help a soft pleased rumble at that. Scooting closer, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently nuzzling her temple. After a moment he hummed, “I think that was our first fight.”

He almost didn't notice the slight twitch in her hands, spine going stiff for just a second. Mandibles flicking again, he tilted his head. “Hira?”

“Nothing.”

There it was. The calm cold wall of Commander Shepard. Garrus pressed his forehead to hers and simply waited. They were both skilled snipers, if she wanted to pit wills against him they could be there a while. But eventually her frown eased as she closed her eyes. “Parents fought a lot. Is why they divorced. Stupid, I know.”

“It's not,” Garrus said firmly, tone warming as he added, “And it’s not going to happen. First off, we’re not married yet. Second,” I am never, ever, leaving you.”

A dangerous promise to make at the best of times, let alone during a war. But the way she smiled at him, hoping and grateful; Garrus would take on a Reaper with a combat knife before breaking it. Hira moved, straddling his lap as she wrapped her arms around him and tucked her face into his cowl. He held her tight, talons digging into her shirt slightly.

They stayed like that for a while before Hira pulled back just enough for him to see her smirk. “Yet, huh?”

Had he said yet? His blood went cold as he realized that yes, he had said 'yet'. “I- well, uh.” Spirits, every time he thought he could talk like a normal being around her. “I don't- I mean, I'm not, if you don't…” She was grinning at him, a crooked half-smile that lit her eyes and it took effort to glare at her. “Asshole.”

Hira nodded, looking far too pleased with herself. “And you're stuck with me.”

Shaking his head, Garrus lifted a hand to cup her jaw. His heart jumped when she leaned into the touch. “Somehow I think I can live with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Took me long enough, didn't it?  
> I'm so sorry for the ridiculous lapse between updates and I don't know if anyone's still following this fic, but I do have more in the works and I do plan to continue it because it is important to me and I enjoy writing it. Thank you for reading and for your patience with me! ;w;


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